Clarity of Life

Well I have been here for 6 weeks now or almost 45 days. I did not know if I would have the strength to do this but with each day it feels more like the normal rather than the unusual and a constant reminder of how lucky I am. There are still many challenges I face such as language, food, and culture; however, that seems small in the perspective of life.

Each day I feel more like myself and that people are getting to know me better. There are still many times of frustration and inability to express my full thought; however it is also because here my frustrations seem so small to the reality of life. That guilt of what seems difficult in my life is small to those here. Furthermore, how happy people can be in the most difficult situations. You think of how we live our lives and you look at their lives and it is a true reality check.

They walk miles for work to earn around $2 for a hard day of work. Furthermore, they own a few pairs of clothing, non regular water, and so much more. I learned that often the clothes "donated to Africa" are not given to those in need but rather put in stores and sold therefore, those that need it most will never receive those clothes. They over came genocide and do not hold anger in their hearts.

This is the moment that strikes me the most. When my dad died it was difficult and painful and challenging. I remember being angry for a long time that some of my friends had never experienced a death of anyone in their family and I had seen many. Here my situation is so small. These people grew up as children being part of the most horrific thing imaginable. They found the strength to get educated, make a living, and over come the trauma. I can never compare to what they have experienced. We each have our struggles but the strength we pull from it defines the kind of person we are. I believe I have many things to still learn. Through this I am going to learn more about myself and appreciating what we all are given for life than I am going to make a difference to them. It is funny how a change can be more internal than external.

All I have ever wanted to do is help people but I think they have helped me more than I them. There is true clarity on what matters: family, friends, and finding happiness in the small things. The problems will be resolved don't spend your time focused on it. If you don't find joy in the small things there is nothing worth living for.